Who are we? Who thinks? Who acts? Who speaks? What is our real identity? How does a child grow into a healthy adult, with a healthy, happy, and holy identity? How do we foster this delicate, unique flower - giving it sun and rain, but not too much - and soil that will enrich it without burning its roots? Is it different from the way we were raised?
The answers to these questions are both simple and complex. For starters, children need a safe and supportive family environment, adult role models and relationships, a caring school environment with high expectations and clear rules, and a safe, stimulating, loving, spiritual community. Around and beneath all this is something infinitely more precious which is also needed to nurture children - they need to learn to dialogue with their inner being, with their hearts. And how is that done? Through meditation. Inner being is subtle, but it holds the secret of life. It is who we really are-- even more than soul, mind, and body. They need to learn to meditate.
As Sikhs, we have as our guide the Siri Guru Granth Sahib, which gives us the technology for coping with the world through giving us the experience of this inner resource-being. Our being is both unique and universal. It gives us our specialness and ties us to every other being at the same time. It is our experience of God, the Creator-- a part of the universal flow of prana, life-giving force. As the Guru tells us, "There is one Creator, who has created all creation." Realizing this with every breath is the strength and hope of each being.
As a spiritual community, we can foster the deepest version of "self-esteem." It is not good behavior or good performance that gives self-esteem; it is feeling good inside, no matter what is happening on the outside. It is the essential being on which each child should learn to rely. We need to teach them to practice Kundalini Yoga, to meditate and to be attuned to the Shabad Guru, and this will attune them to their inner being, their soul. We are closest to God when we can treat joy and sorrow the same, and when we communicate that wisdom to our children.
Adults are the gateway to the child's world. Adults can foster in children deeper joy in response to life's unpredictable changes. When we as parents come from a healing place, we can more easily create uplifting environments. In whatever we do, wherever we do it, we can help children's relationships to their own inner selves. As adults, and as parents, our intention is to help direct children to God and Guru in invisible ways, helping them to master their ten spiritual bodies for their own joy and enrichment.
Our own spiritual discipline and meditative lifestyle will greatly enhance our ability to deal with the stresses and growth of guiding youngsters. When we are graceful as mentors and parents, we will gain the trust of our children. When we are compassionate, they will communicate with us, and when we are kind, they will love us. Our positive example is a gift for their destiny, and for future generations. It is a consciousness that keeps growing.
When children are encouraged to live in their inner being, they have the strength to still the ego and gracefully navigate both happy and sad times. They will walk with Guru's wisdom. This is maturity. Maturity is the key to discipline; discipline is the key to good will; good will is the key to prosperity; prosperity is the key to richness; richness is the key to service; and service is the key to everlasting friendship.
Can we really teach a child positive values? Or do children practice positive values when they see them practiced by those whom they love and admire? Given the security of positive, supportive role models, children become deeply happy about themselves and in tune with their spirit and their soul. They will be strong in their knowledge of their beautiful uniqueness as Sikhs. Our Sikh practices will make sense to our children when we practice them with deep appreciation of their value, and share this understanding and appreciation with them.
It takes more than a village to raise a child; it takes spiritual commitment and dedication to youth on the part of every community member. Each adult has something unique and different to share. As a spiritual community, let's all join together to nurture each person, including our children, who are our future.