Sikh Dharma Community
A Mother's Reflection on an Aquarian Wedding
Sikh Dharma Community Part 1
A Mother’s Reflection on an Aquarian Wedding
SS Mata Mandir Kaur Khalsa
Three months ago, in October, I was blessed to coordinate and attend the wedding of my daughter, Saraswati Kaur Khalsa to Dharam Singh Khalsa of San Leandro, CA. The wedding took place at the Raj Khalsa Gurdwara in Sterling, VA. For a mother, the wedding of her daughter is a beautiful occasion and the culmination of her dreams and devotion. It was a high point of my life. It was a personal milestone and victory.
But over the weeks and months that followed the wedding, I realized that aside from being a personal high point, this wedding was a high point for many. It was when I heard this from so many people, that I decided to sit at my computer and share and reflect upon what I have been joyfully calling “the wedding of the millennium.” It exemplified the victory of love and unity among many facets of humanity. It was an event for the world to see, but I have to tell it from my personal experience.
Saraswati Kaur was born into the Dharma. She’s been a Sikh her whole life. Dharam Singh was born and raised in a loving Jewish family and became a Sikh about three years ago. I was also raised in a loving Jewish family. So you can imagine all these loving Jewish people who joined this wedding of two devoted Khalsas.
Saraswati is also the first child of our DC/Virginia sangat to get married here in our ashram. So it was a happy occasion for all of us, who have actively loved each other as family for so many years. A big priority for all of us as we planned the wedding together was for everyone to feel at home and free to celebrate from the depths of their own hearts and their own traditions, while maintaining the absolute purity of the wedding as set forth by Guru Ram Das. I suppose it wasn’t coincidental that the wedding took place on the day we celebrated the birth of Guru Ram Das, October 24, so the miracle of it was multiplied. The beauty of the hukam, by Guru Arjan Dev, brought tears of joy to our eyes. It started out, “ O peaceful night, grow longer - I have enshrined love for my Beloved. O
painful sleep, grow shorter, so that I may constantly touch His Feet.” Guru Arjan finished by saying, “Prays Nanak, I have met my Husband Lord, who plays with me forever.”
I felt that the most beautiful aspect of the wedding was that we all did share and celebrate together with no feeling of separation. Dharam Singh’s father read the translation of the hukam as if he had been reading it for many years. People of different faiths stood around the Guru to help the couple around. Everything in the ceremony and in the program was explained by SS Gurusangat Kaur, the minister, so we could all follow and enjoy the service. At the reception, we all joined in dancing the hora and bhangra alike. Dharam Singh’s cousin, Cantor Ilene, sang and explained some Jewish prayers with Dharam and Saraswati, and even incorporated such traditions as the breaking of the glass, which, she said, signifies that as long as there is any suffering (brokenness) in the world, our work is not done. Dharam Singh’s mother spoke at the reception, saying that when her son told her he was getting married, her first thought was that she didn’t want to be a stranger at her son’s wedding. She found that she felt an integral part of everything and very much at home. It was a true experience of the real oneness, seen and unseen, and the mutual appreciation and celebration of many faiths.
Many of us rebelled against the religions of our youth, and in order to establish ourselves in the Dharma, we pushed away our past. We were also misunderstood by our families, who struggled to understand why we took on a new path and a new form. For some, this separation has never found a way to mend completely. I felt, in a way, that one of the beautiful blessings of this wedding was that it was a gift to our families, an acknowledgement and appreciation of our past and a way to integrate it into our future with love. It was also a way to show those who might have misunderstood us, the grace and open arms of our Khalsa family. It was a lesson for all of us.
Another thing that made the wedding special was the music. Since three of Saraswati’s parents and her younger brother, Wahe Guru Singh, are musicians, and Dharam and Saraswati both play and sing beautiful music, we took this opportunity to express our joy in the music of the wedding. Mata Mandir Singh had returned to his old home, the Virginia ashram, after 17 years and his music was divine and very appreciated by all of us. We all played together, celebrating the marriage and the birth of Guru Ram Das. Mata Mandir Singh and Guruganesha Singh led us in “The Wedding of Guru Ram Das” sharing their feelings that were similar to those of Guru Amar Das at that historic wedding. We were joined by other musical friends - Bibi Amarjit Kaur, Maninder Kaur and Manpreet Singh, Snatam Kaur and Prabhu Nam Kaur, and all of the Virginia sangat. The Gurdwara was long, but fully enjoyed by all. We hired a professional deejay and enjoyed ourselves immensely dancing to many different kinds of music.
There was so much joy, it was uncontainable, and the bride and groom were warm and incredibly fun. Those of you who know Dharam Singh know that he can be the life of any party. They publicly thanked many of the people who meant so much to them in their lives and others came up to share their reflections and their love. Mata Mandir Singh shared a beautiful song he had written about Saraswati.
I am sharing this memory because it was more than a personal experience. It was a beautiful memory for so many, an experience of what is possible, of how the vision of Guru Nanak and many others is manifesting on this earth in the Aquarian Age. I am so grateful that we were able to provide a vehicle for God’s Grace and the mission of the Siri Singh Sahib to touch so many people.