 The Art of Conscious Loving  |
From the Book Conscious Loving, by Gay Hendricks and Kathryn Hendricks
Used with kind permission from Random House, Inc
Whether you travel this path of commitment to loving yourself, a child, a parent or a partner, it can be an invaluable tool to getting out of the place of Co-Dependence and into a place of Co-Commitment.
"The Seven Steps of Co-Commitment
1. Commitment
o I commit myself to full closeness, and to clearing up anything within me that stands in the way.
o I commit myself to my own complete development as an individual.
o I commit myself to revealing myself fully in the relationship, not to concealing myself.
o I commit myself to the full empowerment of people around me.
o I commit myself to acting from the awareness that I am 100% the source of my reality.
o I commit myself to having a good time in my close relationships.
2. Learning to Love Yourself
True self-love is an on-going celebration of who you are no matter now well you perform. It is an ability to greet the dark parts of yourself with the same gracious embrace as you greet the light.
3. Learning to Feel
- Give Yourself Time
- Learn the Core Feelings
- Separate Your Feelings from Your Parents' Feelings
- Be With Your Feelings
- Give Yourself Permission to Feel
- Learn That You Can Feel Without Acting on your Feelings
- Figure Out What You Want
4. Claiming Creativity
There is no power in victimhood. Acknowledging responsibility is a risk, because responsibility carries power. Power belongs to the people who take responsibility; it flows to those who claim creation.
5. Learning to Tell the Microscopic Truth
The truth is that which absolutely cannot be argued about.
Microscopic truth is the deepest and most subtle truth you can see and feel; It does not involve projection or judgment.
6. Keeping your Agreements
Each broken agreement leaches energy from within us and from every relationship. Learning to keep agreements is mainly a matter of courage and practice: courage to get started and practice for the next thirty or forty years.
7. Learning to Live in a State of Continuous Positive Energy
A great deal of careful work is needed to resurrect the ability to live in a state of positive energy.