Excerpts from Transformation from Grief: A Yogic Model
by SS Dr. Sat Kaur Khalsa and SS Dr. Shanti Shanti Kaur Khalsa
Yogic Techniques to
Integrate Change and
Transform Grief into Joy
The Siri Singh Sahib once said the only time we grieve is when we forget God. The Siri Guru Granth Sahib teaches the way to remember: Keep the company of the Holy and Chant the Name of God. This guidance is the base for conscious grief recovery. Nothing is more effective in transforming emotional pain, integrating change, and experiencing our Divinity than recitation of the Shabad Guru. Coming together around the sound current of the Nam in creative and spirited ways, through mantra, kirtan, akhand paths, singing and telling stories, is powerfully effective for personal and community healing. Read from the Peace Lagoon or take a hukam from the Siri Guru Granth Sahib. A suggested Shabad is Dhan Dhan Raam Daas Gur, suggested mantras are Guru Guru Wahe Guru Guru Ram Das Guru or Aap Sahaee Hoa, which are helpful for grief release. Miter Piare Noon from Guru Gobind Singh is excellent for the resolution of loss. Any Shabad or mantra will consolidate and elevate the community. Please refer to Psyche of the Golden Shield or Psyche of the Soul for further information on the effects of the Banis and various Shabads.
After chanting talk together, eat together, sit and make plans for your community to be together regularly. Talk about what will comfort and uplift each other during this time.
Grieving is a natural and normal reaction to loss. We can celebrate a soul leaving its body because it has fulfilled its soul's purpose. However, we are still human and part of us grieves our loss. Here is some information that may be helpful for you at this time or any time of grieving.
Grief recovery integration of change is a whole brain, full body experience. It is not linear or analytical. The following are normal reactions and processes and may occur in any order over time:
* Shock/Denial
* Numbness
* Destabilization/Falling apart: this is where there are wide swings of emotion that can include anger, fear, depression, sadness,
and a sense of loss.
* Observation/Re-Evaluation
* Recalibration of who I am
* Vision for the future
* Decisions and actions to manifest
that vision
* Integration of these changes into
the identity
* Moving forward with life
Don't expect or make things the way they used to be. Allow the change, explore it, and guide it. This model applies to individuals, families, communities, and organizational structures. Please note that this process can take more then a year, even up to three years or more.
Here is a list of normal reactions to loss that may be helpful to you in recognizing grief in your communities or in yourself:
* Instability; "falling apart"
* Loss of automatic pilot
* Loss of sense of control
* Challenge of deeply held
beliefs
* Believe/feeling that loss
didn't happen
* Physical heaviness,
tightness of chest, throat
* Empty feeling in stomach
* Loss of appetite and sleep
* Difficulty concentrating,
feel restless and unsatisfied
* Wander aimlessly, forgetful.
* Feel the presence of what was
lost. If what was lost is a
person - through death,
divorce or other separation -
this presence is very real to
the grieving person.
* Loss of aliveness
* Guilt, anger, irritability
* Crying unexpectedly and for
no apparent reason
* Isolation
* Frequent mood changes
* Need to take care of others to
deflect own pain
* Crisis in faith, questioning of
one's own fundamental beliefs and
assumptions
* Dismiss, minimize effect of loss
* Need to tell and re-tell the story of loss.
* Act out uncharacteristic behavior
* Belief that if I were a more
spiritual person, I wouldn't be
going through this.
* Act like they are recovered so they, their
family, and their friends feel comfortable
- "It's OK, I'm over it."
If you notice any of these reactions, you might consider seeking support from friends, family, community or professionals. For more information: www.grdcenter.org